As a young carer, you might find school a place where you can forget about caring responsibilities and feel 'normal' for a while. But it can also be a place where you're under extra pressure or where people don’t understand what your life outside school is like. It can sometimes be hard to juggle all your responsibilities as a young carer with the demands of teachers, friends and homework.
Keeping up to date with work
You might not want your school to know you're caring for someone. But if they don't know about your situation, it will be difficult for teachers to understand if you struggle to keep up in class or don't do your homework. It's a good idea to let at least one teacher know you're a carer.
You might find it difficult to talk about your home life with a teacher, so you could ask a parent to write a letter to the school, perhaps to the head of year. Some young carers find it easier to talk about the situation if they keep a diary or a list of all the jobs and tasks they have to do.
If you still find it difficult to talk to someone at your school, you could talk to someone at a young carers project. They may be able to talk to the school on your behalf or come with you to meetings. A list of young carers projects can be found on the Children’s Society website.
When you're caring for a parent, brother or sister, it can be difficult to balance your caring responsibilities with school and homework. At secondary school, homework is a really important part of learning.
If you're having trouble with school or homework, your teachers may offer:
- extra time for school work when the person you care for is ill,
- help for your parents to travel to parents’ evenings if they have trouble leaving the house,
- to talk to you privately about your home life, and
- homework clubs.
Missing school
You may feel you have to miss school to care for someone who is ill. But missing school can affect your whole future. It’s important you get help as quickly as possible so the situation doesn't go on for a long time.
The family doctor (GP), social worker, nurse or other people who help the person you look after should be able to organise more support at home to help you concentrate on school or college.
If you miss a lot of school, an education welfare officer may contact you. They will try to find out what is causing you to miss school and how to get you back to school. It's really worth talking openly and honestly to them. Their role is to help you.
If the school has tried to help you with your attendance and it hasn’t worked, they may give your parents a Parenting Order. This sets out what the school wants parents to do to make sure you go to school. It's important the school knows the situation so that it can help.
Support at school
There are lots of ways your school can help. You could be allowed to use a phone during breaks and lunchtime so you can check on the person you're looking after.
The school could also put you in touch with your local young carers service or get a young carers worker to talk to you or to deliver a lesson at your school.
Some schools run lunchtime groups or homework support groups for young carers. If your school doesn’t do this, you could suggest it to your teachers.
Nobody wants to get into trouble at school. If teachers know you're a carer, they may be more sympathetic to your problems (such as lateness), but it won’t necessarily stop you being disciplined if you break the rules. If you are given detention, you could ask to have it during lunchtime rather than after school because of your caring responsibility.
You can take this young carers notice (PDF, 199kb) in for your school's notice board or give this Children's Society young carers leaflet (PDF, 410kb) to your teacher.
Watch the video below to find out how others cope with school, peer pressure and friends.
