Caring and illnesses

If your brother or sister has an illness or disability then you may feel like you need to look after them.

For instance you may find that you can help out by feeding your brother or sister (known as your “sibling”) or helping them to wash. As a sibling carer (someone who look after their brother or sister) you may also find that you have to do more for yourself. This might be because your parents are giving a lot of care and attention to your ill or disabled brother or sister. Some sibling carers may also look after their parents from time to time, especially when they are sad or stressed.

Although you will probably love your ill or disabled sibling, and enjoy helping them out, it is normal for you to feel angry, sad and fed up sometimes. You might feel that your brother or sister gets all the attention from your parents. You may even feel embarrassed sometimes because of their disability or illness.

You could try talking to your parents about how you feel, or you may be lucky enough to go to a young carers club and meet other young carers in similar situations. The Carers Direct helpline (0808 802 0202) can help you find a young carers group in your area.

If looking after your brother or sister is making it difficult at school, it may be worth talking to a teacher or counsellor at school.

Sarah’s story

Sarah is 15 years old and lives with her mum and brother James. James has autism. Sarah’s mum is a nurse and often has to work night shifts. As a result of this, Sarah baby-sits for James in the evenings; getting his dinner ready, helping him with his schoolwork, making sure he gets to work on time.

Although Sarah loves her brother, she finds that his condition makes things difficult and stressful at times. She hates going out on family outings because people look and stare at James. She gets really protective and wants to tell them off for being so rude, although she knows that they only look because they don’t understand autism.

Night times can be awkward as he never wants to go to sleep and his behaviour can sometimes become violent. She gets fed up sometimes at the amount of attention James needs from her mum and feels that her Mum doesn’t even sometimes notice her.

Over the past year, Sarah has been attending a young carers project. She has met other young people like her which has helped her to feel like she is not the only one in a situation like hers.

Watch the video below about sisters Charlotte, Chloe and Sophie, who has cerebral palsy.